Click "READ MORE" for instructions on how to use this site (including its New Features - located at the end of the entry).
(Read More)
Posted at 10:17 PM by jameswinter | Add a Comment in General

Have held off writing this final entry for sometime now.

I guess I wanted to end this journey with a fantastic story on how I was able to land an amazing job that quantified my past six months experience… assimilated back into a culture that had been alien to me for half a year… motivated myself to link into communities in Sydney and evolve the work I had been busting my balls with over in Egypt for what has felt like a lifetime.

Sadly, none of this has happened.

Instead I have spent the last 3 weeks staring out the window… struggling with the lack of struggle… hiding from the banks and telecommunication companies that ring me constantly over payments due… struggling with conversations relating to ‘what’s hot’ or ‘whose hotter’… applying for jobs that do not recognise my qualifications… feeling like nothings changed (but feeling like I have changed fundamentally)… generally feeling bored, frustrated, un-motivated and isolated from everything happening outside the window that I would stare through… hour after hour… day after day.

So I have been reluctant to record this sense of dislocation… because I feel shame.
(Read More)
Posted at 09:02 AM by jameswinter | Add a Comment in Personal

Sydney is cold… very cold… ridiculously cold.

It’s also very quiet.

Arrived at Sydney International Airport at around 8.30pm last night and felt nothing. I have envisaged arriving home in my head time and time again… anticipated many emotions and felt none of them. (Although I kept singing J.Lo’s “Waiting for Tonight” in my head – trying to induce some kind of nostalgia for returning home… but it didn’t work.)

I had just endured 17 hours flying with a cabin filled with Arabs and their crying small children (and equally annoying Arab husbands who equally deserve a good smack)… felt many emotions, including the desire for murder during those 17 hours – but actually nothing during the descent into Sydney (past the Opera House, Bridge and Harbour) touch down or taxi.

It just felt like I was commuting… how boring
(Read More)
Posted at 09:01 AM by jameswinter | Add a Comment in Personal

Good old 'Gulf Air'... 3 hours late departing from Cairo meant that I missed my connecting flight in Bahrain. Thankfully they have put me up in a 5 star hotel for the next 24 hours till the next plane to Australia takes off.

Being ‘In-Transit’ allows for a lot of navel gazing… especially when you have completed a major project and are now gazing down the dark tunnel of uncertainty.

I feel as though I am about to experience a completely new chapter in my life and career… as if I am standing before a closed door and I am contemplating what is on the other side. I had a similar experience when I last returned from Egypt some 9 years ago… and at that time I had little knowledge that behind that particular door was a roller-coaster ride through 7 years of full-time professional work as a theatre director in Adelaide.

How I long for that same roller-coaster… but I know that that same ride is not what is lurking behind this door I currently face – and thank god, who would want to repeat the same circumstance – even though it was successful, comfortable and profitable.

All I know is that in another 9 years time I will be faced with the same contemplation I currently face… maybe I wont be in the Kingdom of Bahrain waiting for my flight in a 5 star hotel… but maybe I will be in another hotel somewhere else, having just completed something equally successful and rewarding as what I have just completed… contemplating my next journey into the unknown… thinking about being 40!

Thankfully, I used this navel gazing opportunity to read a text that my beautiful friend (and constant source of inspiration) Samantha Chester gave me to read when I left Australia some 6 months ago. It is a text written by an artists Sam has just spent the past month working with in the US. It’s Anne Bogart’s “A Director Prepares”.

Now I haven’t read a methodology text for a long while…. not since I graduated Acting College… and it was refreshing and timely that I happened to pick it up and read it in 2 sittings.

I found the text affirming… and that is excellent for where my head is at at the moment. The final paragraphs of the book spoke volumes to me of what is hiding behind the door I am currently hesitating to open, and gave me the action required to grab this opportunity ‘by-the-balls’ and ride with it.

Here it is…
(Read More)
Posted at 08:55 AM by jameswinter | Add a Comment in Personal

After spending the day going through all my paperwork and trying to throw out as much as possible, I went into Saint Andrew's for my last Collage meeting... and to pick up some paintings that I will be taking back to Australia to give to their new owners. Emmanuel had also sold me two of his works for a bargin price... so I needed to collect them too... as well as do the 'goodbye' thang that I hate so much!

When the meeting eventually started (2 hours later)... Emmanuel had arranged a little ceremony for my departure. Over the mandatory Pepsi's (that are present at any ceremony, celebration), members of the Sudanese artistic community sang me songs and gave me paintings and presents.

It was such a beautiful gesture... a perfect way to say goodbye... a room filled with people who 6 months ago I had no idea existed - now deeply cherished friends, giving me a piece of their talent... their creativity... for me to remember them always.
(Read More)
Posted at 12:56 AM by jameswinter | Add a Comment in The Work

Another unsolicited entry... this time from my Mum - I love getting other people to do my work for me!!!

A Missive From Mum.

Six months he’s been living under my roof and he returns to Oz looking like a Biafran refugee. Now, most of you reading this won’t know what a Biafran refugee is or where Biafra is or was and to tell the truth neither do I. But during my formative years, the Biafran war was on somewhere in Africa and we saw for the first time on our black and white TV these emaciated children – and my son looks like one! Kasia said ‘James your elbows are sticking out’ in reference to his skinniness. And they do! Now I have tried to feed him but lately it has been too hot to eat much and a diet of coffee, cigarettes and sheesha isn’t conducive to putting on weight.
(Read More)
Posted at 01:06 AM by jameswinter | Add a Comment in Personal

Think I might chuck a little get together… a chance to see my friends again… and a chance to meet those I haven’t met in person – although they have shared my experiences with me over the last 6 months via this blog.

So if you fit either of the above criteria… please feel cordially invited for a bevvie at…

The Excelsior Hotel – Bridge Rd, GLEBE
Thursday 8th July from 7pm

Won’t be a big one coz chances are I will fall asleep with jet-lag…

But it would be great to see your face… especially after a 28 hour flight on Gulf Air (eeeeek!).
Posted at 01:51 PM by jameswinter | Add a Comment in Personal